I was listening to a Podcast this week from Mark Driscoll. In it he said something that hasn't left me.
"Love isn't what you say or how you feel. Love is what you do."
Honestly, if Micaiah spoke to me like the men on those cheesy Valentine's Day commercials... I think I'd laugh. Then probably ask him if he was feeling okay. Because the thing is... at the end of the day, words are cheap and feelings are fleeting.
My man is one of few words. He's a man's man. He works at Home Depot, hunts things, and watches shows like Dirty Jobs and Man vs. Food. His idea of making dinner is picking up Chipolte or frying me a basket of french fries. He rarely pours his heart out in words (probably because I'm enough words for us both :) but his actions speak love.
He kisses my forehead sometimes when he thinks I'm sleeping. He vaccums. When he leaves for a weekend he writes a quick note and buys me a scratch off ticket.
Ladies nothing says love like a scratch off ticket.
He calls sometimes in the middle of the day just to see what I'm doing. When we're driving and I boss him and tell him which way to go and what way is shorter he's smiles and says "You're my right hand man babe." He cleans up the dog puke. When I had a major emotional breakdown a few days after being on bedrest he came home the next day with food and flowers. Purple flowers. He remembers things like the fact that I love purple, or that I wanted that lime green puffy vest with the fur hood for Christmas. He knows what my perfume is called. He cuddles me to sleep. He doesn't mind that I have a shoe addiction or need a new eyeshadow color for every season.
He's not perfect. Our marriage isn't perfect. Our love is far from perfect. But I'll never forget Valentine's two years ago. We'd just met but I could tell He was going to change my life. He already knew I'd be the one he'd marry. He brought me a card and chocolates as were weren't dating and he didn't totally want to freak me out too badly :) I'd just gotten out of a bad relationship and was left a little scarred. I told him I didn't want my heart broken. He promised he wouldn't break it... and he's spent every day since then making good on that promise. He's redeemed many things and been a rock for my sometimes incredibly fragile heart. And I'm crazy about him.
We've had our bumps in the road... sometimes a few really big ones. And we're by no means marriage experts at this young time in our marriage. But we've learned some really big lessons about what love is and what it's not. We've learned that you choose your love.... and for the rest of your life... you love your choice.
He tries every day to love his choice well. The vacuming, the scratch off tickets, the cleaning up dog vomit, the purple flowers, the fact that he reads every single one of my blog posts.... they all speak love to me.
Love is what you do.
And he does love well.
Happy Valentines Day My Love. You and no other.